RULING ON RAISING ONE’S VOICE TO HIS/HER PARENTS – SHAIKH IBN UL-UTHAYMEEN
Question: While I am working or there comes limited time and my father comes requesting something I did for him and I raise my voice to him. Is this haram?
Answer: “There is no doubt this is caused by anger and shortness of breath. What is necessary for a person is to control himself when angry because :
لأن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم سأله رجل فقال: أوصني، قال: لا تغضب، فردد مراراً قال: لا تغضب
The Prophet sallahu alayhi wa salam was asked by a man: Advise me. He said: Do not be angry. So he repeated the question a number of times and he said: Do not be angry.
So it is necessary for a person to control himself when angry and seek refuge with Allah from Shaytan, the accursed if he/she senses him until he leaves. If she does so, she can control herself from raising her voice to them. It is not allowed for her to raise her voice to them due to Allah’s statement:
إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour
From what is known, is that if the parents reach old age they will always occur from them what will restrict a person, embarrass him, and anger him. Along with that, Allah the exalted says:
لا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمً
say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour
So it is obligatory upon her to be courteous with her parents and control herself when angry “.
Faisal Ibn Abdul Qaadir Ibn Hassan