Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about the Islamic ruling on a person whose father – as he says – did not play any role in his upbringing and did not give him any kind of care, even when he was an infant, despite the fact that the father could have spent on his child.

In this case is it still obligatory to uphold ties between the father and his son?

He replied:

Yes, the son is obliged to honour his father, acknowledge his rights and treat him kindly, even if the father did badly and even if he fell short. And the father has to repent to Allah for his shortcomings; he has to repent to Allah from his shortcomings with regard to his upbringing of his son, but this does not justify disobedience on the part of the son. Rather the son must honour his parents, even if they fell short with regard to his rights.

Allah says concerning the rights of the disbelievers, in the story of Luqmaan (interpretation of the meaning):

“but behave with them in the world kindly”

[Luqmaan 31:15],

even if they are disbelievers in Islam.

What is required of the son is to treat his parents kindly and honour them, and to interact with them in a nice manner, even if they fell short with regard to his rights.

End quote from the shaykh’s website:

binbaz.org.sa/mat/9310

RULING ON RAISING ONE’S VOICE TO HIS/HER PARENTS – SHAIKH IBN UL-UTHAYMEEN

Question: While I am working or there comes limited time and my father comes requesting something I did for him and I raise my voice to him. Is this haram?

Answer: “There is no doubt this is caused by anger and shortness of breath. What is necessary for a person is to control himself when angry because :

لأن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم سأله رجل فقال: أوصني، قال: لا تغضب، فردد مراراً قال: لا تغضب

The Prophet sallahu alayhi wa salam was asked by a man: Advise me. He said: Do not be angry. So he repeated the question a number of times and he said: Do not be angry.

So it is necessary for a person to control himself when angry and seek refuge with Allah from Shaytan, the accursed if he/she senses him until he leaves. If she does so, she can control herself from raising her voice to them. It is not allowed for her to raise her voice to them due to Allah’s statement:

إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour

[17:23]

From what is known, is that if the parents reach old age they will always occur from them what will restrict a person, embarrass him, and anger him. Along with that, Allah the exalted says:

لا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمً

say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour

[17:23]

So it is obligatory upon her to be courteous with her parents and control herself when angry “.

[Taken from: http://audio.islamweb.net/audio/index.php?page=FullContent&audioid=309211#327052 ]

Translated by

Faisal Ibn Abdul Qaadir Ibn Hassan
Abu Sulaymaan